Don't let the past dictate the future
by xfmoon
Summary: Wyatt introspective tag to the scene in the beginning of 2x10 Chinatown.


**A/N:** Can we talk about the awesomeness that was the finale...why are we not renewed yet? Still not jumping ship, though they're making it hard. Mostly I just feel an enormous sadness for the sufferings of Lyatt, but that is not gonna make me ship Garcy. But then again that does not mean I don't like Flynn... as a friend (or a creepy uncle ;P ).

 **Spoilers:** for all of Timeless so far.

 **Disclaimer:** I try to run from my past and to my future, unfortunately none of those times includes me owning the rights to Timeless.

* * *

Did he hear her call out his name? Of course, he did. He could always hear her, but lately he might not have listened all that well.

Did he feel her hand on his back? Yes, even the lightest pressure of her slender hands would under other circumstances have sent chills through his entire body.

But in his fury, none of it registered. At least, not in the way it should have. Rage really was blinding.

 **xXx**

Flynn had done nothing but jab at him regarding his wife, and just having him here in the first place had for Wyatt always seemed like a bad idea. But he'd tolerated him, mostly because he'd been semi-helpful, and he'd been there for Lucy when he couldn't, a fact that still stung in his heart, now more than ever. But this flat-out taunting was taking it a step too far. If he had known, really known for sure, and had had more proof, and not just wild speculations then he would of course never have brought Jessica here. He had been in denial for a bit too long maybe, but it was his wife after all, he loved her. And he knew that anyone of the others would have done the same thing for their loved ones, giving them the benefit of the doubt and not believe that they were evil Rittenhouse spies. The truth still tasted sour in his mouth and made his head spin, so much he almost felt dizzy.

Flynn's accusing words topping the whole ordeal off was the proverbial drop that made the glass overflow. Frustrations got the better of him and his anger took over as he launched himself at Flynn. Both of them landing and taking a few blows from one another.

He felt the commotion more than saw the others come rushing to stop the fight between them. But it wasn't before it was too late that he knew what he'd done. In a split second his hand connected with skin that wasn't his opponents, and he immediately stopped dead in his tracks. Of all the scuffles, tussles and brawls that he'd been in in his life this _one_ hit made an eardrum piercing sound like nothing he'd ever heard; it was the sound of betrayal, shattered trust, and heartache all mixed into one. Never before had he regretted a punch.

The hurt look on Lucy's face. The way she moved away from him when he took a step towards her. Not wanting him to touch her again. He couldn't say that he blamed her for that. But he just wanted to let her know how bad he felt, how sorry he was, that he hadn't meant to do it, it had been an accident, and he would never intentionally hurt her. He wanted her to know all that, but she stopped him after only one word: "Lucy..." And he let her, gave her full power to dictate the terms, not wanting her to feel the least bit threatened by him. He knew all about being powerless in the face of aggression. And so, he stood utterly still, frozen in shame, with eyes downcast as she walked past him, hand on her cheek and unshed tears in her eyes.

 **xXx**

She had saved him from himself once. Made him a new man, a better man. And this was how he rewarded her, by reverting back to his old ways. Ever since Jessica had been back he had been reckless, hotheaded, he let his temper rule his actions, and hurt the people he loved in the process. But hitting Lucy that was a new all-time low, and he didn't think he could feel any worse about it than he already did. He had become the thing he'd tried to run from his whole life. He'd become his own father. Preying on the innocent and the weak, hitting people when they were already down, and destroying trusts.

He didn't want to be _that_ guy. And Lucy deserved so much better. All she ever wanted to do was help, even him though he'd treated her badly. He knew that, but snapping and pushing her away was the only way he knew how to keep her at arm's length. But this act of violence, though accidental, how were they ever going to come back from this? Could she ever forgive him? Should she? Maybe he deserved what he got. If this was his punishment, then so be it. He would make sure she was protected even if it had to be from afar, something like this would never happened to her again. She had endured enough.

He'd realized that no matter how far he ran, he couldn't run from himself, from his nature, from the man that had become his father's son. Hindsight is 20/20, everybody knows that, he just wished reality had caught up with him a little sooner, then all this could have been avoided. Jessica would have been caught, maybe even reasoned with, Jiya would still be here, and not kidnapped by Rittenhouse, and he never would have hit Lucy. It was ironic really that a time traveler couldn't run from the past or even learn a thing or two, maybe change some things and create another future. Life was a series of choices and he had made a bunch of bad ones lately. But no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't change that, however he could start making amends. He wasn't going to let his past dictate his future. One thing at a time. He needed to focus, maybe even shift focus altogether, from his own soap opera drama - as Rufus so eloquently had put it - to the bigger picture. First things first they needed to find a way to get Jiya back.

* * *

 **A/N:** Endings are not my forte, I can never get them right. Sorry if it sucked.

This scene was hard to watch TBH. TPTB keeps breaking my heart with stuff like this. Wyatt is good at blaming himself, that guy has got the weight of the world on his shoulders. And poor Lucy is just way too good for this world.

Also, they should just renew (or cancel (I hope not)) it already, this wait is getting ridiculous.


End file.
